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ya.. i know... dun comment la my english sucks.. ever since polly my frequent language will be lar lor ... ahaha.. cnt blame me, my ppl... keke
today.. skul strted at nine.. cn u actually believed it... sick ryte... sleepy head walk to skul with "botol"accompanying on the phone.. well, its a personal joke la actually...kekeke... skul ended at 4 n "botol" sweetly took me in frnt of my class.. we went to srisun to lunchner...keke lunch plus dinner ler... eat2.. majokin2... hwe hwe hwe... since his enjoyin this, i mite as well play along with his game right.. *haiyak*
went to inter surveyed stuff... i bought my brother a game at challenger... keke... den after tt took bus and sat near my block.. we talked as we were drinking carton drinks he bought... funny2 talk.. den he say, wad wud happen if we were to live side by side eh?? he say, he wud save money on hp..(laa... as if u spent every single cent on me like tt...:P.. botol!!) den we wud use paper cup phones n talk to each other at night... seriously, it sounds freggin cute lar... ahahaha... den i scared everyday, c my future moder-in-law.. insyaAllah...keke*SHY*... keke.. saper tk takut oi.. but his mum, cool to the max, mcm kawan tau,.. keke... tapi biar kita jangan berjanji, hanya tuhan sahaja yang mengetahui apa yang akan terjadi... n let us leave it up to him k?
den had to go home.. sadness... i reached first la, obviously duhh!!!...kekeke... den prayed n ate tahu goreng.. hungry2, ate twice of helping... den now i have to do werk.. so ciaoz!!! till next tym baybeh!!! weeeeeee~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Thursday, October 26, 2006
peace be upon to you people!!! sorry for not updating ya... been busy not with raya but unfortunately a day b4 raya, skul began... sadness right... ya... u guys muz b luffin at me... but its ok.. its fated...
MONDAY
on monday, it was a pain to wake up.. *liat sey mater* went over to wan's place to take my movies n return his stuff n left him some biscuits i made... ttli tk sedap lor.. but he want to rase sngt.. told u kn... tk sedap!!! kekeke... after tt was the strt of skul... OMG!!! Boring!!! first lecture was like sumone giving me a handful dosage of sleeping pilss... seriously... i was like dozing off tym n tym again...
TUESDAY
on tuesday, raya raya raya... woke up early to iron the clothes... but in the end wear chill cause not going out straight away... so went for pray sunat hari raya at toa payoh organized by muhammadiyah.... yeah.. u wonder y i go so far, dad's decision, uncle's vehicle, no way i can escape cause mum won't have companion... poor mum... if only things weren't as stupid as they are now... i noe.. shudn't dwell on the past... so after prayers went home n received a call from my uncle saying his cumin over... we waited till mid-afternoon but still they haven't reached... seriously, tell la wen u seriously cumin.. tym is precious ok... bcoz we had to wait we cudn't go to mummy's house... so sad ryte... haiz... den my kak & abang sedare came 2gether with their family.. all 29 of dem, consisting of five families.. ya i noe.. huge family my mother have...keke.. but my father side... more... 12 ppl in ttl of siblings not including all married and having at least 2 children each... now i cn see my mum's pressure everytime hari raya cums... pocket koyak dok...hahahaha.... den finally at 6 we went to my aunt house at 456... but too bad after half an hour had to go home... anoder aunt cumin to my house.. tkper... my aunt house nie, biler2 boleh turun...keke...=>
my aunt came with my small cuzzies... den we all played bunge api or spaklers as they call it in english... hillarious ar.. but simply choking sey... the smoke, it like ttli covered my corridor... den dey had to go home... sadness.. i also had to sleep... didn't talk to him tonight..he was tired and skulin early 2mrw, so give him face, we go slp...
WEDNESDAY
on wednesday, skul started at nine... took sumtym to wake myself up...keke... took a light breAKFAST and went off to skul... today.. everythin was great.. i felt refreshed upon reachin skul, due to the less hazy weather today... greatness... didnt feel sleepy at all... we were like complementing each other today.. for no reason..keke... ORGCOMM was fun... dere was this dude... hu simply can't shut up lor wen i was assigned to do group work with him... but he kept me awake.. keke... tnks in the matter of no thanks... haha.... den went home... cik ram came today... keke... besties!!! den was abt to go to do my usual stuff, my uncle came... n gues wat was the tym,10.30 pm... can u believe it, dusnt he have work to do... haha... kiddin2... layan2 him den he went off at 11.30pm after talkin to my dad abt sumthin... den we talk on the phone... was expecting a vibe from him, but it was just the same...
THURSDAY
today, such a long day in skul... the boring NETINFRA lecture relli kills my mood... had an amazingly forgettable lab in the mornin... such a tiring day... talk to him in the mornin 4 a wile... den had to put down, classes were startin... wen i got back home, i expected him to call for a while, comes to know he ended at 3, and he was playing game... takkan nk tell him right i want him to call... he shud do it on his own basis... tkpela.... shud understand... he might just b more tired den i hu had an office day at skul...
Saturday, October 21, 2006
lets see pple... yest was happening man... ttli.... wen touring over all the hari raya bazaar's.. n hell, ive never been so freggin tired wen its only a short period of time..
friday splendour adventure
met the dashing scandal of mine at 2++... after he had prayers... he look so dashingly hott today.. well the weather was giving him the vibe though... ahahaha... kidding ler...
so we set on our trip by startin with the splendour adventure at paya lebar bazaar... suprisingly... it wasn't crowded todae....althou it friday n the eve of depavali.. well... we ventured out in search of the kotai2 baju... the dashing handsome scandal of mine wants to survey dem.. want to bcum kotai2 like the clothing... den i bought myself stuff to get ready for skul on monday... althou its gonna b a lonely thing, i m lookin forward to skul thou... get myself immerse in books... coolness ryte...
we den to TKC..in search for his shoe... aik... he want to buy a shoe for water sports to wear to skul..??? weird right??? keke.. nvm.. den we surveyed specsies, walked around and gave up the old boring place n headed down to haig road...sureyed stuff n bought those cha kuey with fillin in the middle... bought for his family too..
kampung melayu... greatness... tt was wr he bought 4 me this beautiful keychain with my name... he bought for himself too.. beautiful... n im gonna kill myself if im gonna lose i again... seriously determined... keke... den we went in further n my oh my... saw this beautiful choc dress... aaaa!!! i had to buy it... althou it was a rip off, its so me man... ekkeke.. after tt... we went in and sat down in the inner part of kampung melayu after he had taken for me the bubur.. we talked... den suddenly he brought up the question about family... wanting to have to kids...
him:u, i wanna have 2 kids only ar...
me: har??? so little??
him:den u nak football team ke?
me:ish! y not?? keke... tk lar... 4 ckp.. 2 gerls 2 boys
him:den klu 3 boys n a girl (shows how much he likes boys yar)
me:den the girl shall be my fav... keke =P
den we talked about faraid n stuff.. wah.. we are strtin to sound like potential syariaah courts officials.. keke...den we walked back to sing post to board the bus... 28... it came in a few minutes... den he had to go off ready..
it was a short yet sweet n meaningful day... it made a spark of rush flow in my heart... perhaps we still have the chance...InsyaAllah... the trust is building... wounds take tym to heal.. i hope... this will last.. InsyaAllah... n we'll have more great adventures like this...
Thursday, October 19, 2006
i know the truth.. dun keep it from me... i was n still am a murderer... arghhh... evry step i take is a mistake.... just my luck... but i just dun understand y the both of u keep it frm me... i cn always leave if it isn't my place to stay... u cant force sumthin sour to turn to sweet... i just hope u guys tell me... b4 i give up on it....
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Early MorNiNg
early mornin have to wake up to run an errand for mummy... had to go to the bank to exchange for raya notes... woke up earlier so i didnt have to que tt long... five mins n i was out of the bank on my way home...reached home at nine...
Late morninG
at 9.30...had to run another errand... had to go to the market as food stocks were depleting at home... keke... den bought all the stuff n finally reached home at 11am... den trus batt...
AfternooN
woke up at 12.30pm, to the cries of my nephew... aiyoyo... bising liao... i carry him put him on stomach... talk to him...
me: gugugagagugugaga
nasry:akuuu...akuuu...
me:kikukika
nasry:(blurghhhh!)*he vomitted on me...
oh my... the smell.. masyaaAllah... i also wanna vomit sey...
mid-Afternoon
den got ready... im goin out with both of my super-duper kul2 frenz... went out arnd 2... n took the 28 bus... i decided to go out early n walk around this fashion... der was really a lot of stuff tt i want.. unfortunately, i wasnt born a millionaire... aaha....
Early-Evening
wen jun came, she thought for me coz im relli blureed... evrintin was so beautiful.. keke... so finally, got a pair of blue jeans, and two tops, coloured black-white and dark brown... total coolness.. i tell u... shortly after darling fi3 came... we den walked arnd until we decided enuff is enuff den we headed down to city plaza to hunt for fi3 shoe... cari punyer cari, amseh tk dpt jue... haiz.. fi3, a great advice for u, buy the shoe at bugis one... seriously...keke... we cudnt take it so we sat down at one bench, simply tiring man... we all had a long day, fi3 had her *self-declared school hours* n jun had skul too... we sat observing ppl n we realised tt a lot of ppl are getting pregnant nowadays, must b the baby bonus.. such a smart goverment singapore has ya... hahaha.... after tt, we saw an old lady in need to sit, so we offered the seat to her and walked to the toilet coz i needed to *let go*...keke...
Late-eveniNg
we actually sat in the toilet.. well, it was comfortable and airy...kekeke..den a lady came in and wanted to put her scarf down, den jun said "hi!"... i was blurred ready...kekeke...come to know, it was her aunt... ceh!... scare me only.. tot she seow redy... ahahakz... after tt we headed down to haig road bazaar to buy food... we had a small dinner at darul arqam... there was one pakcik hu actually tot we wanted to pay zakat... i have paid mine, have u??... den after eating we merayap, survey the stuff.. ntg much ar.. sumhow sumthin was missing at all the bazaar we went to..
Night
we gave up walking and headed to singapore post to buy bubble tea.. unfortunately, i was too full drinkin air kathirah n fi3 tot it was a lil bit too ex... it was ar...rippin ppl off man...keke.. den we went n sat for a while... rested this butts...ahahaha... den we went n survey the stuff at the top bazaar outside sing post...not bad la the stuff.. but meiyo chien..kekeke.. den we again sat at the side... we were practically observing ppl wile talkin to each other... i was playing n poking this phamplet...
fi3: ct, stop it.. u not ok is it..
me: *still busy poking the phamplet..*
fi3:we look retarded man sitting here..
me:*cik leh act* yey2... ahakz...
hillarious!! hillarious!! been a long tym since my head cracked... althou a part of me was worryin frm my freggin fishy tymtable wich is nt cumin out.. darn.. have to strt skul a day b4 raye.. sick ryte??? haiz... wat to do...
den we had to go our seperate ways... huys, great day.. we shud do this more often guys!!!P.S:too bad camerafroggy not with us!!
ahahakz.. sorry dude n dudettes, no pics to share.....
Monday, October 16, 2006
yest... was a sumwhat stupid but ended gr8 dae... early mornin im awake already...althou i slept like at 5... drats!! darn this eyes... i think i mite just b having insomnia... due to wat... hell, i dunnoe... perhaps too much worryin ar dear... ouh well well west... keke...
in the mornin.. i spent my tym lookin arnd the ends of my computer screen.. just shows tt i reli have nothing better to do.. keke... joined msn... checked frenster... n sum idiot had to say hi to me... this idiot... my close fwens shud noe hu... rmbr, the sec 4 idiot... torment me with words... but hell... i've got no more feelings for u...u...u... *****... fasting month... mush respect... huahuahua... den tis cause a little misunderstandin between us, but alhamdulillah, things gt better as we cooled off....
in the mid afternoon, wen to venture the bazaar at kampung melayu+paya lebar again... with mum, bro n little nuriyn... der was a heaven lotta ppl arnd.. well.. wad do u expect on a sunday ryte....(*tanyer jwb sendiri.. biaser la aku*) i bought 2 baju kurung... keke.. n lotsa food... mutabak, hot dog, air khatirah...(shall not torment u further... kekeke)... all of tt... house decorative purposes... man... wad a hectic day... it was almost like we're placed in a can of sardines... but wen we got to paya lebar... it wasnt tt bad.. was much more relaxed thou... chill ajer jln... keke.. bought the delicious keropok tt i bought last yr... yum2... cnt wait to eat it.. well.. its for rayer la actually... hu cares, can actually persuade my mama...took taxi home...
got home n laid the table for breaking fast... eat3, mcm aku yng puase...kekeke... den watch dae jang guem... korean flick... u shud watch it... it has a lot of meaningful things instilled in the story... story of a woman and her hardship.. its on channel u, 7.30pm, every sat n sun... great story.. after tt felt a little sleepy(suprisingly) told ayang tt im takin a nap first wile waitin for him to settle... he promise to call at ten...
kkkrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg..................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the phone rang... it was ayang... at ten 15.. ayang.. u're late... hahaha... but hu cares... u called... tt only matters... tau syg.... janji dgr suare... hmmmm... talk2... few interuptions.. skali pelepup... the phone wen dead... the batt flat dar... keke... ingat marah si cookie monster nie... tkt me... keke... den tried to revive the phone till he cudn't take it animore... had to sleep...
ouhman, today, its the start of ayang goin to skul... alar... naper too fast... haiz... keseorangan la ku... huahuahua... tkper2... muz learn to b independent lar kan... nanti u ns mcm pulak nanti kn... jgn terlalu melayankan perasaan la ct... huehuehue.... bbl sendiri plk.. haiya... im stronger den yest.... yeah... wuhoooooo!!!!
wat is on the schedul today??? hmm.. p[e]r[h]a[p]s bake arnd... sleep arnd.. or jum arnd.. its been 3 weeks since i had any cardio exercise.. darn.. this fats are killin me.. haha... takper.. semester strts, i intend to drop by the gym wen i have tym... care 2 join me girls... just tell me n ill arrange evritin... cnt wait to boogie on wed... yey2! i'll try loan camera k... keke... weeeee!!!
till nxt tym.... i love myself...hahaha.. love u guys too... love my family.. love everyone!!!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
still feelin guilty over fridae... now i ponder, if i wasnt tt foolish n tot twice, things wud not have happened now... its hard... i cn never forgive myself for wat i've done to someone so innocent.. althou im forgiven, the guilt i carry forever... i dunnoe wt is happenin to me... its like i've changed.. frm bad to worse... i myself dunnoe y... nk mati ke?? hu noes...
saturday
woke up in the mornin to cries of my nephew.. he ws hungry.. made him milk.. den my sister asked... did i notice dat my nephew actually slept together with me yest... i was suprised.. going like relli.. n she said it was for real... it was hillarious cause i dun even remember dat he was still on my bed before goin to slp.. pelik2...
chatted with wan for 2 hrs... the conversations were quite tight... der somethin in the air tts just not ryte.. den log off coz mummy is caling me to bake cookies.. its the savoury choc chip cookies by cik manisah... yum3... keke... nasib cuti...keke... baked n baked n baked... watch dae chang guem at 7.30 ti 9.30... still not yt finished... keke... at abt 15 mins after.. cleaned up.. and finally... its settled... dumped evritin into the tupperware n went to wash up... after tt had to attend to my nephew coz my sis was sick n my mum was busy in the washroom... soon after the bola slept... wan called n talked for a wile till his soccer is on... haiya... bola pat rumah sini, pat sane plk tgk bola... tts y im here.. venting my loneliness...
cant wait for wednesday, girls day out... dun forget to bring cash gerls!!!
Friday, October 13, 2006
feel insecure, what should i do to change the situation friday
nurul, i feel i owe u a public apology... wad i did was foolish... hw cud i ever doubt such a sincere heart like u..
im influenced by the situation n i felt u wer the perfect candidate. to tt person hu msg me all dose tings, i partly blame u coz u stressed my mind n cozme to hurt a fren... a pure fren... to nurul, i was foolish cause i followed to much of my heart without using my head.. n i noe u hve forgiven me but i cn nvr forgive myself.. i shall stay away frm everyone frm nw on... coz all i did was hurt....
thursday
went to wan's house 2 dae... it was practically movie day...watch this n tt... my heart still disturbed a bit by wat i saw, n wat i read... one request from me, its either u tell me not to touch ur laptop or u delete all dose stuff tt myte get me thinkin hay wiredly.. ok... ur stuff, ur choice...
wednesday
went out with mama, abg and nuriyn to geylang.. it was a lonely bus ride as i 4got to bring my stoopid mp3, woops, my sisters mp3 i mean.luckily ders one kind person hu was messaging me, keeping me companied all the way till i reach der...
wen we reach der, mama wanted to buy yaya sandals n shoe for raye later. she gt for nuriyn one beautiful blck shoe n a green crocs... n this yaya, u noe little kids, dun want to take dem off.. so we had to chain her... hahaha not tt extreme though... keke... after tt we walked to joo chiat place. at der we bought this vcd, ganyut - tak tentu pasal...den we headed to kampung melayu. we walk toward the back n it was quite deserted, both of ppl n shops. but the stuff der quite beautiful especially the kebaye... simply love the one in blue.. but too bad... cnt buy.. to ex...wad to do... den we went to the geylang temp market.. der i bought two tops, blue n brown in colour.. 2 for ten only, it was at frez khan shop.. not bad la the material.. worth the price.. we bought all the stuff we need n headed home..
wen we are eunos stop, there was an elderly lady hu asked this dunman skul gerl for help to tap her ezlink as the lady was far off inside the bus.. but this girl, like one blur, shake her hands saying , i dun want.. funny sey... at last this lady cudn't take it n she just push her way thru the front and tap it for the old lady.. the girl damn paiseh redi...hillarious n cute... the expressions i saw on tt day...kekeke....
been to wan's place to take care of him.. he was sick, running quite a high temperature, n vomitting... i think its because of the haze... wish i cud reprimand those idiots.. don't they know tt they are actually kiling demselves.... ppl.. nvm abt tt, so i laze arnd at his house while keepin an eye on him...played on his lappy wen he was sound asleep... found some unpleasant stuff.. yes, wan, it pains me to c all dis.. evri nyte i asked myself.. wer did i go wrong... wad did i do to deserve this... but comes to know, im just foolish... it was his lappy as usual, givng way, bein more den 5 or 6 yrs, it shwed me sumthin tt was der like 2 yrs, n u noe me ppl, i panicked... strted thinkin negavtively...
Thursday, October 05, 2006
todae... had a rough start in the morning... i dunnoe like whats wrong with myself.... i kept like about to fall down wen i walked... wassup with the foot ct??? aiyoyo... nasib tk jatuh tergolek.. ehekz... reach wan house around like 9+++.... today have to help him with his shelves in the room... mark out evritin on the wall while watchin the vcd wan was playing... quite funny the story... it was the classic ali baba bujang lapuk... den continued by lord of the rings : the two towers.. ahhh.... simply love legolas... droollling evrytym watch him on tv... he just so creamy.... i also dunnoe wad i talk la... didn't realise it was alredi one... played uno for a while then went to perform zuhur prayer... den continued den asar prayer... n had to rush out to meet fi3....
it was so cool... im very excited to meet her n at the same tym hungry too.. had less to eat for sahur just now... ouhwell... met fi3 n got 2 know she waited half an hour for me... well she was early lar.. kekeke..:P poor things... alone... sorie yar made u wait so long... make it up to u... we both then walked to esplanade plannin to go to the rooftop.. but too bad ders a freggin private function n we weren't allowed to... darn it.... ouh well... we den sat at the library near the dance corner... n we talked...
fi3 : " ct, do u noe sp moving to eunos?"
me:"is it?? for real?? wer exactly"
fi3:grinned
me:"alamak!! she tricked me again... keke... this is the last tym.. nxt tym i will ask a series of question bfore believeing.."
it was hillarious tt i actually believed her n we like laughed till one of the members of the public gave us a look...*oopsss*... forgot it was a library... kekeke.... den after tt ain called saying tt dey have reached the staircase in frnt of meritus mandarin... it was faithfully faithful as dey really sad der... keke... we chilli n revive those olden days tt we have.. ain was frekin funny sey.. miss her cracks with ais seyyyyyy!!!!!! dey wer like ttl chemistry... den ain have to go off redi.. skolah memanggil.. kkekeke....
we headed our way to the faithful makan place above the center stage at marina square... den all of us bought yong tau foo... keke... den da azan trus mkn... after tt i felt so bloated... den we bought titbits at watson and head to esplanade to chill... den fi3 strted the conversation of having regrets in ur life... den we defined regrets as shaping the lives of ppl... but we do wish sumtyms we cn chnge somethin.... but wats past is past... ryte fi3???
den we took a series of 'take another one' picture... keke... its a personal joke.. its like we nt satisfied with the pic we took until we took arnd 20 or 30 lyk tt...huahuahua.... den after tt was seperating tym... so sad.......... 2dae was a great day.... hoping n lookin 4ward 2 anoder outing with u guys la....
p.s : ais, fi3... u guys rawkz~~~~~~~~!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
i don't know why i always depend on u for hapiness... perhaps its like u've been my everytym companion. someone i know i can count on. and asking me to not depend on u, is hard to keep up with... its like i have friends... a lot.. but in poly, im such a loner... i'm everywhere alone... i just feel tt i cud count on u to keep me company but i was just irritating u.. i do have my best friends, but how much time cn they have for me, they themselves have things going for themselves n they have other things to do besides attending to me.. tts y i always turn to u.. but i know its irritating.. but u understand ar my situation.. imagine being the only malay girl in my class.. having lunch on ur own.. did u ever know tt??? i never told u cause i never want u to worry about me in scholl.. u can definitely be happy cause u have a lot of friends in school... n bein a guy... making friends is much easier.. like for eg. u dunnoe each other but u all can play football together... i cant cause its either my poly frens have diff tymtable or they have things to atend to... its not tt i cant adapt... i try to fit in.. but it just dusnt work out easily.. its hard bein alone ok... n u want me to be independent... its easy for u to say, coz all my life i depended on people around me for comfort n simplicity... coz i noe i cnt make myself happy... i dun want to be pretentious about bein happy... its like i dun ask for every second of ur tym.. its like i wan u to b der wen i need u.. n u dun seem to be bothered about it.. dunnoe la.. i might just be over-conscious or a perfectionist like u said.. but if u really want me to be independent den i have to learn... coz i know i cant have all of ur tym... its hard wen u find sum place u wanna fit in and u dun... tts exactly how i feel in skul evridae.... but its ok... i guess i have to learn the hard way den.. i'll make it... dun worry... but if i change... i dun blame u.. coz i know u dun lyk me arnd evrytym.. it'll only let u get tired of me....but if u noe how it feels like to be in my place... wer u can't fit in, den u'l understand... but its ok... i'll try n find my own happiness... even though i dunnoe wer to begin... let nature take the flow.... just like u said............. P.S : things aren't easy as it looks, but if u want me to do it... i shall...
ANGRY day???? 1:36:00 am what is wrong with everyone today.. its like everyone around me is getting angered and frustrated be it my fault or not.
i really dunnoe... firstly, my dad, den mom, den lil' bro, den a fren.. what is happening
to the world. i really crave for a piece of mind.
yesterday i made sum1 angry n pressured... to tt sum1 .. u noe u hu u r... im reli
sorry for everything tt has occured in ur life. n reli sory for making u do sumthin tt is better left unsaid.. n i noe saying sorry wun chage anitin.. but i hope it made a difference.
to u n ur life.... i know u'll hate me for life.. but nontheless, i deserved it.
Sunday, October 01, 2006 DarKneSS 1:49:00 pm
I swim all alone in a pool of darknessandIt's slowly pulling me underI yell for help but no one is there to hear I begin to see the water at eye leveland I kick and flailfighting to stay above the darknessBut the darkness won't let go of its hold on meand I slowly begin to give into the feeling that lies below the water linethe waters starts to fill my lungsthe lungs that once held so much lifeyet now they allow the murky water to replace thatI know that this path doesn't lead to happinessBut why doesn't someone grab my handpull me from darkness's grasp?because no one knows I stand at the boundarythe boundary between light and darkso I give in to the thing that holds meAll of the strength and all of the couragethat I once held in my heartcan't save me from the waterSo I slowly slip below the world of conscientiousnessundetected by the occupants of that worldI don't want to fight anymoreI've given into darkness
