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Labels: exagerration of art P.S: hoping he sings this for me... Labels: random Labels: cheapskate day Labels: i feel good Labels: random Labels: yeay Labels: embroiled Labels: friends Labels: explanation Labels: i love u too Labels: feelings Labels: tak tercapai akalku Labels: random Labels: truth hutrs alot Labels: foolish Labels: i don't miss you now The moral of the story is: "We humans are never satisfied. Some of us don't p.s : this is for you... Labels: random tak tag
tak ambik test pun?
sungguh menyedihkan...
i'm crying and bleeding...
and all of this...
just because...
you want to avoid her...
P.S:fcuk me off!!!
inspired by princess ice
staring into the corner,feeling rather cold,imagining the cute guy,the one my friend just told. at least i get to dream,not further as to hold,at least this dream doesn't shatter,even when i'm old. for now the ears are listening to this :
Wednesday, June 27, 2007 i love to eat 10:23:00 amBIG NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guess what??? irwan ate bean-sprout (taugeh). i was shocked la kan. and he eats mixed veggies too. yessah! the future is bright!!! He said: "The taste was not that bad though!"
I was ultimately elated when he told me.
Yesterday, we had dinner in my school. Our meat were switched, he had my chicken cutlet and i his fish. I didnt know, fish tasted so good with spaghetti. Worth the cash. It only cost 3.50 each. Great deal!
After that, I was still hungry! So unlike me. We went to polar puffs to get the eclair! To go along with that, i bought some junk food. Cheap! Gawd! I sound like a cheap-skate la kan??? He bought himself a pair of sandals. Which was quite cheap too...
P.S: It was a short day, yet sweet! Thanks for the wonderful time and companionship. (=
Sunday, June 24, 2007 Saturday was fun! Morning went for the usual doctor's appointment at Novena.. 21st July is the last appoinment!!!! Like a TOTAL Thank-God!!! hahaha.... After that was breakfast in Bedok at McDonalds!!! Big-Breakfast!!! SEDAP-la KAN!!!!
Someone said his mom asked "You go out with people's daughter, you never bring more money???". He replied "For what... I pay mine, she pay hers!". So sad la... *padahal it has been going on for more than 2 years* i'm just making a fuss out of nothing... don't mind me... and i don't hate you for this... $$$ is not subjective to me... What matters is the heart...
After the appointment, met dearest best-friend, kecik!! Made sinfully macaroni and cheese. Too much milk spoiled its outcome. Cheese taste was over-powering and losing its feel after a few bites... It was fun... We watched "Behind Enemy Lines" starring Owen Wilson... Kecik added, even in a serious movie, he could still be funny! True indeed... It was bitter when his partner was killed by the enemies right in front of his eyes... Then he had to run 5 click to get to the safety zone where his crew could pick him... I could be in that situation but not with the enemies chasing me!!!
The movie inspired me to go jog and not stop... a round of bedok resevoir... a whole great sense of accomplishment... thank you kecik!!!
Sunday
Morning was fine... had a chat with dad about riba'... then after that cooked up a trial Nasi Goreng Ikan Bilis... it tasted a little bland... Jun came soon after... Did my chores soon after eating...
Elmo's colouring book show was quite boring... I fell asleep halfway along the show... Then met eLyra and Jun then we headed our way to Pasir Ris Park... I've discovered a new was to walk there!!! yeay-ness!!! so nerdy la kan!!! Soul-searching was more like looking out for Nuriyn!!! Stress la kan... What Lyra say was partly true : Jun and Me are potential mothers... But i'm like the fully developed mother.. evidence : i shout very well!!! tee-hee~
I have to thank Jun for the cab ride! Sungguh-best!!! Free Lagi... tee-Hee... insyaAllah i'll repay you back one day ok??? Pray that I get a license and a car ok??? it would be great!!!
P.S : "I didn't miss him that much today! You're in trouble!!!"
Friday, June 22, 2007 “This fancy things
Will never come between.
You’re part of my entity,
If for infinity.”
; Mysteriously unfathomable
“So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside.
This is not how you wanted to be.”
; Plea for apprehension
“Cause every moment,
We share together,
Is even better than the moment before,
If everyday was,
As good as today was,
Then I can’t wait till tomorrow comes.”
; Hopelessly romantic
“Last night,
I couldn't even get an answer.
Tried to call,
but my pride wouldn't let me dial.
And I'm sitting here,
with this blank expression.
And the way I feel,
I want to curl up like a child.”
; Gratified demeanor
“Saying that I love you,
But you know,
this thing ain't been
No walk in the park for us
I swear it'll only take a minute
You'll understand when I finish,
And I don't want to see you cry
But I don't want to be the one to tell you a lie so.”
; Dilemma
Thursday, June 21, 2007 so here i am in the school canteen... making bits and pieces of time into a puzzle... don't get what i mean???? i also don't get it... haha.... weeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!
dearest azizun told me that toilets shouldn't be the place we should be worried about... but huns, toilet makes the world go round... think about it for a min, and you'll get what i mean... I would go as far as to say, relationships won't bloom without TOILETS!!!! haha... weeeeee~~~~~!!!!!
ok... that is all for now... i shall entertain you with the result of sitting in the canteen for some period of time.... and also some pictures from tuesday!!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 Contemplating whether I should change the blogskin to something that is the real me...
Its like I’ve lived with myself for almost 20 years yet I still can't fathom myself...
Derangement in every part of my life...
Seriously, I swear I have big issues with myself...
So much so that I think I might just be suffering from depression...
Its like I could be so cold one moment, but I could totally be fine the next moment...OMG! OMG! OMG! But thank god I don't hear rings in my head... I think I’m still manageable...
The following is rated
uncensored and
extremely dirty!!!
Those who can't stand
this... Don't Read ON!!!
I mEan It!!!
I totally have a problem with un - flushed toilets... yes! arghhh... I was really frustrated going into toilets un - flushed... NO NO NO!!! Neither the janitor is not doing their work nor the flushes damaged... I have no idea why the people who use it just don't flush... they want others to get a view of the "treasures" they just deposited is it??? alamak!!! reeeaallllllyyy ar!!! like want to box their face.... then come out of the cubicle like ten cent five cent never flush... like that never mind, they stuff down lots and lots of toilet roll.. wahlan!!! ni pu ming pai flush ar??? sometimes "treasures" all around the seat... what, are you allergic to cheese or something honey... make up face so nice but don't know how to flush... I seriously think you need to take back moral education in primary school once again... how do you want other people to respect you but you don't respect yourself.. that is never going to work!!!
P.S: I told you I’m hard to be apprehended. Am i 2 in 1???
Monday, June 18, 2007 I wanted so much to inscribe stories but time seems to be against me this past week...
I have been a good girl and have started to work on the project... I no longer watch movies and dramas for today... that is like a great achievement for me... yeay!!!
Last Saturday went swimming... for the first time, my leg cramped up during swimming... its weird cause it has never happen before... wonder what happen... after the oh-don't-know-how-many-laps, due to swimming classes being held and lack of space, finally gave in at 9.45... it was around an hour and a half... was so happy I didn't get burn by the sun cause we came early... heehee...
Then afternoon, whipped up some fried kway teow... I’m starting to love cooking already... played roller coaster tycoon 2, which was so addictive that I didn't realize it was time to go off... I watched the TV for a while, then there it was, S.W.A.T on AXN... I love watching S.W.A.T.. and I didn't realize I was running late... in my mind, I thought [ jun is so going to kill me ] this is like the third time I’m meeting her and I’m the one who is late... what is happening to me???
Met her at Tamp Inter... thank god she didn't kill me.. *exaggerating* haha... then we chilled and talked for like 3 hours plus around my neighbourhood... It was fun and really a heartfelt talk... I think all of us girlfriends should have this kind of talk... I also realized that as we grow older, our thinking skill gets capacious and more au courant...
On Sunday, I woke up early and help mom with some housework before immersing myself in front of my laptop... playing lemonade tycoon whilst waiting for that someone to come into msn... for like three hours... I don't know how I withstand that long but I did...
Lately, I’ve been having issues with myself... I feel I need to re-assess my life in this world... what is the purpose of life... I’m still searching for that answer...
P.S : we humans still get involve in things no matter how deep it hurts... call it ironic ???
Sunday, June 17, 2007 i dedicate this song to all my friends out there.be it you don't know me well.or be it you even know the colour of my underwear.i missed those times we always had.where things were much simpler.i know we shouldn't dwell on the misgivings.i wish things were the same.but overlooking is inevitable.we have to be strong.for whatever challenges might come in our path.you know i'm always there,deep inside your heart.there's a saying that goes,a friend loves you more than a lover.and its true.because friends are always there.be it sunshine or rain.the elucidation you need is,i've come for nothing in your life.and i expect nothing.you're friendship is enough,to last me my lifetime.i love you all my friends...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007 i believe you need to know... a part of me still hates you... but what is troubling me more is my own feelings... i feel all the reasons that has happened before is because of me... perhaps i never love you enough... perhaps i wasn't as attractive as i was before...perhaps i didn't listen like i use to...perhaps i don't dress up like before...perhaps i don't make you that happy anymore... i don't know where did i go wrong...i don't know why this happen...you say you want to protect this feeling of mine... but you still hurt it though by going...you know that its wrong...but still you went ahead... do you still consider it protecting my feelings...or protecting yours??? but whatever it is...i'm glad we talked it through yesterday night...but i still don't understand why you did that...i'll just assume its out of that old feeling...you once had together...i'll take it now that you've let go...i'll take it that there will be no more of this...but if there will be secrets between us...then i can't promise you us anymore...
Sunday, June 10, 2007 a lot has happened yesterday that made me realise i was so selfish. committing to 2 things at a time has always been a juggle and a hassle for me. i've realise how self-centered i was. i've decided to myself that i should not expect much from here... i should stop making my ownself disappointed as all the standards, was placed by me. swimming definitely put all these thoughts at the back of my mind... + feet-tree antics! its bound to take me back to 'gugu-gaga' mode.. but only for that period of time... i can't help looking at my phone when i hear a ring tone... even when its not mine... no offence honey! being done with swimming, we went window shopping... while waiting for baby azizun to get her butt in tampines!! :P finally bought that corn remover... (it seems as though i was the only one who gets worked up about it... he hardly shows affection... aiz...) Azizun house was fun... but so sorry feet-tree and azizun if i was a little bit boring ya??? had roasted wings made by azizun... it was delicious if you're a sucker for roasted wings... keke.. and ya.. she mentioned that it was my recipe... but it isn't.. it belongs to mummy dearest, who said : "to tell you the truth nur, i actually grab what came into my mind and just put it in..." but i still insist in telling her.. it all takes skill... and as a matter of fact, azizun has maxed that up! watched a couple of movies... spongebob the movie, wallace and gromit together with white chicks... weird combination... i know... great-dae!!! wish we could do this another time... next next saturday perhaps??? interested??? tag me??? each of us are frustrated...no more frequent early bus rides heading to nowhere...no more breakfast in the wee hours of morning...no more spontaneous going out sessions...all this because,we are too busy,caught up in our lives...but that doesn't mean i'll ever forget,how much all of us mean to each other... P.S: we want them to hear our pain, but we forget, they have their pain too...
Saturday, June 09, 2007 i just feel confused....
i need him to remind me that i still love this...
but somehow i feel a part of that love is lost along the way...
i don't feel that excited feeling when i see you...
sometimes i admit,
i only see the bad side...
but i pushed it all bad thoughts away...
at the end of the tunnel,
i see some hope,
although fragile and endangered,
i believed there is still some hope...
i need the constant assurance,
not that i feel yyou are cheating on me,
of that i can still love you...
its never your love,
that i worry might fade...
Its mine...
p.s:i'm going swimming alone now...
ya right!
Friday, June 08, 2007 they ignore when we are near,
they run after us when we leave...
they make promises,
that they hardly ever keep...
they sometimes search for you,
at times when they feel alone...
here comes the moment,
when we get frustrated...
when they were not there,
in times, when needed...
they pretend that,
it hurts them too deep,
but when they break it,
its just like falling leaves...
but when they leave,
they just do,
alomost unwilling,
to run after you...
while doing that,
they forget about you...
then we cry silly,
till our eyes looks like willy...
but this is what we feel...
we barely know what they are going through...
perhaps they just don't know,
how to express their feelings,
just like we do...
both are wrong,
both makes mistake,
ego gets in the way,
and the fight begins...
P.S : it does not heed to anyone, so don't feel bad....
Thursday, June 07, 2007 stress brings me my high!!! 3:21:00 pmPRESENTATION = "FULL OF CRAP" LECTURER = "YAYA PAPAYA" me = "I can't be bothered mode" little me = "can't wait to know what i'm going to get later on!!!" P.S: i really want to know what i can do to actually upgrade ME! Pentium ZeeLeeon anyone???
that's what guys are... 12:13:00 pma friend told me...
i should never deny a fact...
that men will forever be attracted to woman...
be it when they are married or not...
its like in their blood...
so i think i have come to terms with myself...
we're so not married...
so i believe to give him some space to appreciate beauty...
and yay to me...
so i can see cute guys too right???
but that is as far as it goes...
no indulging ok???
knowing the truth is better not knowing at all...
because truth sometimes hurt...
i was watching heroes...
and there was this guy...
who could hear people's thoughts...
then one night he went home...
he heard a shocking thought from his wife...
she said " oh no, he knows that i'm having an affair"...
now i see why...
some things are better left unknown then known...
P.S: to my best friend, just leave things that way... the longer you probe, the deeper you hurt...
Tuesday, June 05, 2007 why put on a fake front??? 5:11:00 pmi cannot smile when i'm sad...
i cannot laugh when i don't feel like...
i cannnot be that someone you want me to be...
cause i don't want to be anyone else...
but Me...
Sunday, June 03, 2007 fun!!!! + freak!!!! 7:46:00 amSaturday was fun!!! A-classic! However, sorry feetS if I was a little boring along the way... Sleepy!!! You should have seen my eye-bags... haha... I look like a 50 year-old granny... justified by a little kid who called me that when I board the bus... I was called a granny!!! Do you expect me to be happy about that??? Good gawd!!! I need facial everyone!!! Anybody kind enough to provide me with some cash??? (I just sounded like commercial begging... eeeksss!!!)
she fetch me by her car... and she was a little lost for some time... too happy driving straight already... haha... :P then we thought of going out somewhere... but being us, thinking was getting too long that we just decided to chill at her place... weeeeeeee~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!
As usual, what would be going over to her place without cooking!!! haha... We can cook ok... :P
but it was fun except that.....it was way too spicy!!! kick ass!!! right feetS??? (feet-tree going red! geeezz....) in the end she put some cheese and melted it... I wonder how it tastes like.... scary... heee....
after that, we sat down, enjoyed its spicy-ness while watching WESTLIFE ( there's a gay that's cute... but he is gay... darn it eh feet??? keekee) You-tubing till we reached Russell Peters... he antics are funny but somewhat repetitive... soon after, I got hungry and suggested I make my "Jemput2 bawang" (azizun, you just missed this chance... hahaha!!!) translated to English would be onion fritters!!
then we watch Shrek 3! nice story... very inspirational... basically, the gist of the story is about being yourself and believing that you can do better.. but the part that got me in awe was the cat... those cute big round eyes.. haha... and the little green babies... they looked kind of green... haha... but extremely cute... they should be selling the babies as a soft-toy... I might just be buying it!!!
then it was time to go off and meet mommy dearest at tampines... she was a little funny when I asked her to go off first and walk cause I’ll be late, but she said never mind... I want to wait for you... keke.. funny and cute... so we walked around and my mom saw something that she really wanted to buy... KOREAN DRAMAS!!! alamak... instigated by that little brat brother of mine, she bought three DVDs... my sister just gave her that money.. my brother la.. waste money only... eeeeksss!!!
we were like secret spies upon reaching home as mom didn't want dad to know that she bought those CDs.. so I have to become the DVD "trafficker" and put it in my mom's cupboard.. so funny... my heart jump when my dad called me suddenly from behind asking what was I doing at my mother's cupboard.. thank god he didn't notice...
the night was plain... and somehow I felt I was single again... but this time I felt much more happier... is it wrong to feel this way... or is it just that I don't feel lost cause I’m doing something??? I don't know...Thank You Mr. Aw for your comment.. I shall heed your advice and
try to pull one off soon!!!
Friday, June 01, 2007 don't give up unless you've tried a thousand times!!! 4:08:00 pmI’ll keep moving on
By me
The heat of the sunshine down on her revealed her whitewashed face. The torment of her pain has caused her blood to drain off her face. Her mouth too dry to speak. She felt the whole room spinning around her.
All this is no stranger to her. She has been through this 'so-called' morning routine almost every night after she reached the age of 11. Slowly, the pain grew inside her. Painkillers only bring more pain and her supply of sleeping pills have depleted. She could no longer have that peace on drugs.
Anna, diagnosed with brittle bone disease, extremely low self-esteem. The result of a broken home and in need of peace Her parents separated because of her piling hospital bills that they can't handle. She was unwanted. Both her parents would just ignore her when she's screaming pain. At times, when she's at her father's house. He would slap her asking her to shut up so that he could watch TV. Heartless Humans.
Due to this illness, she failed her 'O' Levels. Always being sick and unable to attend school. Then, one day, she decided, she no longer wants to live with her parents no more. The emotional torment of being the rejected child suffering from an incurable disease. She no longer wants to be a burden to anyone. She rented a house up in Toa Payoh with her sister. Her parents were not agreeable to let go her sister. Her sister was so furious that she left with Anna.
A one room flat was all that she could afford from the littlest allowance that her parents handed down to her and her sister had to work to support them. She was lucky her sister, who was healthier, was there to be with her. But her sister had to work in the morning. Therefore, she'll be left all alone, unmoving on a thin piece of mattress that they found when they moved there. It smelt like stale meat pie, but she had no choice, she wasn't able to withstand cold surfaces. That was all they could afford. With the monthly maintenance and Anna's hospital bills, there was no way they could afford luxury. They couldn't even afford to buy a sofa.
Anna felt guilty. She wished she could do something about herself. Its more heart rending when she overheard her sister praying one night, "Dear God, please lighten Anna's pain. Let her be well again. Let her feel what its like to live. I'm willing to bear her illness for her if there was at least a day that she could feel no more pain. ". Each and every time she flashed back upon what her sister said, her soul rumbled in anger, as she was so helpless.
At times, she has the urge to take her life away. But being strong in religion, she knows it will only bring her to hell. She knew she had to brace up. She took a decision that she should endure every pain and live like normal. Right this moment, Anna is living by her sister. Well and alive. She’s even driven to take her 'o' levels again. She has a part-time job and helps her sister with her bills. She still feels pain at times, but she has learn to put on a smile and have learn to endure that excruciating pain. It takes determination and strength for a swimmer to reach the other end of the pool. But it only takes a prayer and love to conquer all odds.
realize what we have till its gone. But if a person that is in sickness can
overcome all odds to make herself better for someone. Then, why don't we, the
healthy ones, appreciate life and take things in our stride."
