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Labels: ramadan I really wish Ramadan would stay... Just a little bit longer... Its not that I'm not excited... Its just that I feel what I had, that time, wasn't enough... There's still so much things I want to do in Ramadan month... Plus, its the only time our family sits together and eat... even though, there's always short 1 or 2... the joy is there... it is very much well just like Hari Raya... but its the time where we do the same things together as one...
the anticipation of a hard day at work to break fast... getting ready for break fast... preparing for pre-dawn meals... I will definitely miss this... definitely...
Will I be given the chance of Ramadan? Oh Allah, please let me see another Ramadan again next year... Amin...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
There seems to be a reason for everything. The ones happening and the ones that are over. I try to convince myself that there is still light at the end of the tunnel. Mainly, my greatest challenge right now is my own self. I'm struggling to get my self and my emotions straight. Contemplating on my each and every move. Judging and self-mocking due to the state of confusion. I know what I need to choose and be but I can't help but think if there's a way out of this. The way of no grudge or self-hate surfacing from it. Who am I kidding... These things are bound to end ugly. Plus we're bound to hate and curse if it were to happen. Is there no resolution to this? A comfort that doesn't drive us to denial. A strong belief that would not chance upon every ounce of understanding and simply run over it; mimicking a stampede. Should I run or should I go and make peace? Labels: bollocks 
This...
I can't decide...
Monday, September 22, 2008
I had an out of this world dream this morning. It was not happy neither it was sad. But, when you start seeing the actual person, you start feeling bad all over.
Me and my elder brother took this lift. Which surprisingly brought us to someone's home. There was a whole family. The mother, father and a sister too. We sat on the sofa and the mother served us drinks. But, not showing a pleasant look. I tried looking for that someone but is either hiding or not within sight. I don't remember my purpose there. Neither do I know why I was there. It was a weird feeling all over.
It was awfully weird to see the person. Its as though the person knows about my dream. Eye-ing me when I'm not looking. But, I can't help but feel forbidden against that area. I feel like running away. This is just way too much to handle.
There has been too much too update that my mind has been jammed. I had an outing to Mustafa on Thursday with mom and my sister's family. We reached there when it was 9 and it looked as though it was still 8. The bustling restaurants filled with customers and not to mention lots of tourist all around. I have just been to the supermarket and oh-boy was there a lot that caught my eye. I am a FOOD person. You can't blame me. HA-HA. We reached home quite late after that.
Then, on Saturday we went to Giant and Ikea. Looking for kuih to sample. Since I'm only baking cookies and cupcakes these year, mom suggested we buy a little more variety, just in case anyone decides to eat them. KE-KE. Anyway, no new pair of baju raya this year and I have yet to have time to visit geylang to buy my SingKong. Will be having tuition today. That kid is going to have exams next Monday. ORAL. I can't wait till I finish tuition with this kid. Its definitely taxing. I can't stand feeling sleepy at work the day after tuition. Anyway guys, 8 more days left for a chance upon Lailatul Qadr. Don't miss it for the world, OK? Selamat beribadat.
P.S : To the FLYING Nurul Ain on Singapore Airlines, HAPPY 21st Birthday.
Take good care of yourself. And may Allah Bless You. Amin.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Labels: confused it has been a long a tiring journey of hell... especially when you're not able to fast and you're working... you feel much more hungrier then ever... then there's the time to abstinate yourself from "looking" around at other people... several heart melting moments... that is definitely not advisable during fasting month... but can't help it... it is irresistable...
for the past two weeks... it has been a busy never ending work day... there seems so much to do that just thinking of it makes you want to run... having two bosses is not a good choice in life... but if i ever join teaching, will it help to lighten the weight or worsen it more...
there were much contemplation going on... needless to say... i don't even get what I'm writing now... i like it this way... i can survive a month... even more than that... its as though it doesn't exist anymore... i feel like ending it... but i fear for the worse... but there's no way to run... you have to face it... its mixed like blue and green... it becomes yellow, but its unseen...
my stomach have been giving me some problems... any way, "pee" in tamil means shit.... haha.... random eh.... but most random was last night, when little Nasry was about to sleep then he suddenly blurts out, "yes sir!"... i laughed to sleep thinking about it...
Ramadan days are decreasing and I better use the last 18 days to good use.... friends, do inform me for this coming 8 days when will you all be free??? cause the last ten days will be filled with terawih-ing... buka at where har??? book me!!! book me!!! while stocks last.... hahaha... :p
